Bloody light

by kat1616

The thing about anything is you can always up your game. Aba is a game changer I think for autism. It might not be everyone’s cuppa but its definitely mine. I get that it might seem inhuman to someone who has not experienced a child slipping away from them to somehow well coax a child like that. My cousin Jane, one of my autism mum heros, always talks about the “ah bless” mentality. Yes that mentality of let them just sit there flapping or running in circles or jumping up and down – it’s making them happy. Well it does not bloody make me happy to see my bright loving wonderful little human troubled. Yes preoccupied, not coping, troubled. See I don’t accept it. Nor should I. Just because we call it autism it’s acceptable. Well it’s not. Perhaps it’s because our son was basically not verbal and still is literally a man of very few words. Perhaps it’s because my son is a big strapping lad who one day would physically be to big for me to handle. Perhaps i dont want to see him walking about with two big male carers when he is 18 because he still totally freaks out when he doesnt get what he wants. Perhaps it’s because I believe something has affected him and that he wasn’t born with it. Perhaps it’s because I believe that helping him understand this world means that he will have more choices later, that he will be able to write a blog (lol) or tell people how he feels. It is vital to me that I don’t leave my son non verbal or unable to communicate. Aba gives me that hope.

But even that journey is a long complicated winding road. My new nectar from the gods Laila (new VB consultant) was that good but we did get a kick up the arse and it hurt. He is so delayed. Mike is still sold on him being cursed. Laila was understanding. Good cos not sure we really know one day from the next right now. But I had lost sight and my eyes were opened today, why had I lost sight of what is possible for Canon? Why was I thinking it was going to be ok for him to be in school every day next year with a TA and just be happy he was there locked in his own world not causing too much trouble.. why the hell would I not fight his corner? It’s bloody not ok he needs more! He is going to need a lot more. We are not going to just survive this Canon is going to thrive. No matter the cost, trust it will come, no matter the work, we can sort it. So today’s light was a bit less like yesterday’s prettier awakening sunrise and more like an overhead striplight tearing you from a nice deep sleep at 4am. Get up get off your arse there is NOTHING more important than helping your son.

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